Four nuns die in a crash and go to heaven. St Peter ask to the first nun: have you had contact with penis? She said: I touched one with my finger. St Peter says: dip it in holy water. Next nun says: I foundled one. He says: put your hand in holy water. Suddently thers a commotion, a nun has pushed to the front of the queue. St Peter asks: whats up? She says: Well if I'm going to gargle that holy water I want to do it before Sister Anne stricks her arse in it.

Email to a friend joke id 5

It was Christmas and the blonde wife was waiting as the binmen pulled up. One by one she shagged them and finnaly it was the drivers turn. She gave him 10 pounds instead. Disapointed the driver said: What's this for? She replied: my hubby said, give the driver a tenner and fuck the rest.

Email to a friend joke id 4

Apple computers announced today the development of a chip that can be implanted into a woman's breast and play music. The i-Tit will cost 399 pounds and is regarded as a major breakthrough as women are always moaning that men just stare at their tits and never listen to them..

Email to a friend joke id 3

Qual é a diferença entre mulheres com as seguintes idades: 8, 18, 28, 38, 48, 58, 68, e 78? Aos 8 - Tu leva-la para a cama e contas-lhe uma história. Aos 18 - Tu contas-lhe uma história e leva-la para a cama. Aos 28 - Tu não precisas de lhe contar uma história para a levar para a cama. Aos 38 - Ela conta-te uma história e leva-te para a cama. Aos 48 - Tu contas-lhe uma história para evitar levá-la para a cama. Aos 58 - Tu ficas na cama para evitar ouvir a história dela. Aos 68 - Se a levares para a cama, isso já será uma grande história!! Aos 78 - Que história???? Que cama??? Quem és tu???

Email to a friend joke id 2

A young man moved into a new apartment of his own and went to the lobby to put his name on his mailbox. While there, an attractive young lady came out of the apartment next to the mailboxes, wearing a robe. The boy smiled at the young woman and she started a conversation with him. As they talked, her robe slipped open, and it was obvious that she had nothing else on. The poor kid broke into a sweat trying to maintain eye contact. After a few minutes, she placed her hand on his arm and said, "Let's go to my apartment, I hear someone coming." He followed her into her apartment; she closed the door and leaned against it, allowing her robe to fall off completely. Now nude, she purred at him, "What would you say is my best feature?" Flustered and embarrassed, he finally squeaked, "It's got to be your ears." Astounded, and a little hurt she asked, "My ears? Look at these bre*sts; they are full and 100% natural. I work out every day and my butt is firm and solid. Look at my skin - no blemishes anywhere. How can you think that the best part of my body is my ears?" Clearing his throat, he stammered .... "Outside, when you said you heard someone coming.... that was me."

Email to a friend joke id 1